You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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