Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
