I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
