I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize