Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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