That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
