no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
