you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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