great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
