there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
What a dumb baby whore.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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