My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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