Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
