I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
