He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
