But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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