We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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