I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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