he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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