The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
