He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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