I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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