Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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