Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
