I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Randomize