Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..

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(716): View more from New York

dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex

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(251): View more from Alabama

Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.

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(954): View more from Florida

He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....

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(479): View more from Arkansas

This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas

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(850): View more from Florida

Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.

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