Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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