i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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