I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
