anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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