So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
