I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The beers last night were like the tears from god
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
