I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize