dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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