Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
