I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize