never play flip cup with pint glasses
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
