Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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