oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
