Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
