New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Someone shit on the floor
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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