I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just high enough for therapy.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
