We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize