did you get engaged???
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
