I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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