You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize