jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
