You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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