you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
