Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
