Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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