watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
