Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
