Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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