His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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