Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
