Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just want to make out with him forever
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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