I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
