I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize